Thursday, February 14, 2013

Birthday apology

Dear daughters of mine,

I've been told that I write negatively about birthdays every year, making at least one of you have feelings of guilt about wanting a party, wanting to celebrate.

I admit that I do really dislike preparing for parties, and having young, insistent, demanding children in my home is stressful for me.  They criticize my home and my space and question what I do.  They don't mean to be rude or mean, but that's not fun for me.

BUT I like seeing you with your friends.   I like the chance to get to know them all a bit better and to watch you in a peer setting.  As you get older, I love that you do more of the hosting yourselves and I get to sit back more and watch.  

I love to celebrate with all three of you.  Every year, when we cuddle on the bed and I tell you about your birth stories, I relive the joy in that retelling.  It's amazing to me that my girls are now so big when it really doesn't feel like that long ago that you were crawling or needing me for everything.  How can you grow and learn so much in such a short time?  What have I managed to learn in the last 10 years?  Not much in comparison.  You make me very proud in all that you do.

Because we have multiple children, we tend to not spend much time with you on your own.  Your similar interests make it way easier to lump swimming lessons together, piano lessons, Guides.  We bring you to school together and arrange to pick you up together.  How often are we really alone with you in the car?  We don't ski or swim unless more than one can go because everything is just more fun that way.

And that's why I love having our birthday lunches together.  It's a time when we try to focus on you and let  you  pick a restaurant, to know that you are special to us.  It's about us though too.  We get to listen to just one girl, to your thoughts or how your day is going.  It's special for your dad and I too.

So no, don't feel guilty about having birthdays!  We all benefit from remembering and celebrating with you.



Sigrun said...

Our children didn't have friend parties every year--one per school division: Kindergarten; somewhere in Gr1-3, Gr 4-6, Junior High, and High School. But family celebrations every time.

Angela said...

That was a lovely letter!!
I must confess that I do not like my own birthday but I enjoy making a fuss about my kids birthday !
Oh , I have nominated you ...take a look at the mast post on my blog!